Certified Intimacy Coach, UK

Jump straight to: My Story, My Identities & Values, How I Work, My Training & Qualifications

Chances are you’re reading this because you want healthy relationships full of trust and honest communication, where you feel confident in asking for what you want, and you want sex to feel pleasurable and fun (without all the pressure and overthinking!)

…And you’re wondering whether I’m the person to help.

Well, I’m here because I don’t believe that simply talking and reading about having happier relationships is enough. Relational patterns are healed within intentional, conscious relationships (whether with a friend, partner, therapist, coach, or someone else).

But if you’ve been in and out of therapy a bit already, and wondered why you’re still not where you want to be, then you might have found that there’s another important piece too: embodiment.

Let me explain by sharing a bit of my own story…

My own journey with embodiment started a few years ago. For a long time I had no idea what that word even meant. Now I understand it means to be living in my body, feeling all the sensations that come along with my emotional responses, and listening to what my body wants to tell me – rather than hanging out in my head all the time. 

My body didn’t feel like a particularly pleasant place to be for most of my life, and I had to work to find acceptance – and then love. Learning to listen to my body was a big part of this process, and it allowed me to feel much more connected with myself and my needs. I learned that emotions are stored in the body, and if I pay close attention I can identify how I’m feeling without getting lost in mental stories about what I should be feeling.

But even more crucially than this, beginning to pay more attention to my body meant that I was having new experiences of myself. My body became a place that could hold and process difficult emotions, without needing to act out in harmful ways. My body allowed me to stay in touch with the here and now, rather than checking out or dissociating. And my body allowed me to have new experiences of what secure attachment and deep connection could feel like.

My communication with partners and friends improved enormously as a result. I know where my boundaries are – and when I need to slow down to find them. Sex has become playful. I feel more secure in my own skin. While I am still learning, my relationships have become places where we can both ask for what we want, and negotiate something that works for us both.

Today, my mission is to support clients in slowing right down and feeling more of themselves. The connection you have with yourself is the most important thing you bring to any relationship with another person, so this is a really important place to start.

As an intimacy coach, I believe that challenges that show up in sex and intimacy are not problems to be solved. Instead they are clues to show us the parts of ourselves that are wanting some attention and care. This requires working slowly to find these vulnerable places, and working with them gently.

Curious about how it could be to work together?

My identities & values as a coach

I am queer, gender fluid (they/she pronouns), and ethically non-monogamous, and I am part of sex-positive, kink-friendly and polyamorous communities here in the UK. These groups have long influenced the need I feel for greater skills in emotional intimacy (both with ourselves and with other people), communication, and boundary awareness. I believe these are areas that everyone can benefit from working with, whatever your relationship style, gender expression, or sexual orientation.

I’m often described as wise, grounded, and intuitive, able to create a bubble of total acceptance and kindness for clients to explore their challenges. One of the most important values I bring to every session is the importance of slowing everything right down so that we can support you to connect more deeply with your whole experience. This creates a space where you’re able, with my support, to discover and resolve the blocks that are getting in the way of the changes you want to make.

I believe in working together to create changes in your life that unfold from radical self-acceptance, rather than pushing and striving. This looks like challenging your patterns in doable ways, taking small yet significant steps, and cultivating a new embodied experience of feeling whole and worthy of love just as you are.

This is a process that can feel incredibly soft and incredibly powerful.

How I work in my intimacy coaching practice

I work intuitively, at your pace, with the themes and challenges you’re bringing, and always in service of the changes you want to see in your life. I am trained as a therapeutic coach, which means that together we explore the emotional root cause underneath the challenges you’re experiencing so that we can work at this deeper level, rather than only staying on the surface. This creates changes that can ripple out into many areas of your life, beyond the specific theme you’re bringing to sessions.

Sessions may include:

• Slowing down the words and feeling into your body, so that your whole experience is taken into account and you can begin to move out of your busy mind
• Embodiment practices, using movement, gesture, and posture to find connections and insights that are deeper than the intellect
• Meditation, guided visualisation and imagery, using the power of your imagination
• Identifying conflicting voices and ‘parts’ of yourself and dialoguing with them to bring a deeper sense of harmony
• Reflecting on your past and childhood, connecting the dots between your earliest experiences of relationships with caregivers and patterns that are playing out now as an adult
• Identifying emotional needs that went unmet in your childhood, and finding creative ways to get those needs met now

Training and Qualifications

As well as the courses detailed below, I also have ongoing professional supervision for my coaching work. This means that I am able to discuss issues and challenges I have with my supervisors, and gain insights and second opinions to better support my clients.

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Curious about how it could be to work together?