Viewing all posts on the topic of sex: relaxing into pleasure, both solo and with a partner.

  • Sex

    How to Navigate Dating and Sex with Endometriosis

    I was recently asked how to go about dating and sex when PIV (penis in vagina) sex is often uncomfortable due to endometriosis. This question intrigued me because, although I don’t live with endometriosis myself, it speaks to the need for having authentic, vulnerable conversations about needs and desires with people you a) feel attracted to and b) likely don’t know very well. I had a hunch that any advice I could give would be relevant to many more folks than only those diagnosed with this specific condition. I’ve spoken with people who do have endometriosis about which challenges come up most often, where the most anxiety is, and what…

  • Embodiment,  Sex

    How To Stay in Your Body During Sex

    Do you ever feel as though you’re just going through the motions? Perhaps it’s hard to enjoy sex because you’re always stuck in your head, feeling disconnected from your body to the point where it doesn’t even feel like it belongs to you.  It can sometimes feel like a physical block, a complete dissociation from felt sensation, where you enjoy sex and intimacy on an emotional level but can’t connect to the physical enjoyment. Maybe you struggle to maintain eye contact, feeling a lack of connection to the person you’re with, unable to really tune into what you’re both feeling.  Feeling challenged by staying in your body during sex is…

  • Sex

    Connecting First

    Intimacy is often closely associated with sex – to the extent that the words are sometimes interchangeable. But sex and intimacy don’t quite mean the same thing, and one is not a requirement in enjoying the other. Sex is an easy default when trying to create connection and intimacy. Enjoying sex with a new person is no bad thing, but it can be unhelpful if we’re using it as a way to cover up a need for intimacy which we are unwilling to address. Why do we rely so easily on sex when we want to feel close to someone new? Do we find it so difficult to connect in…

  • Sex

    Creating Your Own Sexuality

    Sex is often such a shame-filled place, whether we realise it or not, that the easiest expression can be the least authentic one. When we feel a need to compete with others, try to imitate media or porn, or simply hide what we really want, our sexuality is not yet our own.

  • Sex

    How to Make Sex Better: Lessons From the BDSM Community

    Whether you’re into floggers and rope or vanilla as it gets, there’s a lot to be learned about communication, boundaries, and consent from those in the BDSM community. Although these may not be the first things many people think about when asked what makes for the most memorable encounters, they can make sex so much better if we get good at them. So why is that? One thing I’ve learned during my own explorations is that relaxation is everything when it comes to pleasure. And in order to relax, we need to feel safe. If there’s one thing experienced BDSM enthusiasts know about, it’s safety. Knowing how to ensure everyone…