Hi, I’m Ro. I’m a relationship coach working with individuals and couples who know that it’s possible to shift unhelpful patterns in their relationships, and want a little help to get there. I’m also queer and non-monogamous – but you don’t have to be!
At the heart of all my work is the firm belief that challenges that show up in relationships are not problems to be solved – they are clues that show you the parts of yourself that need some attention and care.
How does that work?
Well, my training and experience as a relationship coach (and human being) has taught me that we all have the capacity to connect deeply with others, without losing ourselves or self-abandoning in the process.
The problem is that this capacity is often obscured by personal history and childhood experiences that teach you that some emotions are not welcome, that you must be a certain way in order to be loved, or that your needs are not as important as other peoples’.
Coaching gives you the space to explore these unhelpful lessons and heal their damaging effects, so you can bring more of yourself to your relationships again.
“The quality of your life ultimately depends on the quality of your relationships.”
Esther Perel
Every moment of your life happens in the context of relationship, whether with yourself or with another. How you feel and behave in all of these relationships determines how you feel about your life.
And yet many of us were not taught crucial skills for having happy, healthy relationships when we were younger!
These are the skills you can learn in relationship coaching with me:
How to manage and regulate big or overwhelming emotional responses, so that you’re less reactive around other people and less likely to behave in ways you regret later
How to stay connected with how you really feel, rather than how you think you should be feeling, so that you can feel more at peace with yourself
How to come out of your head and into your body, so you can act with deeper clarity and care more deeply for yourself
How to resolve internal conflicts by working with each different ‘part’ of your internal dialogue so you feel less internally divided and confused
Want to talk more about whether coaching could be a good fit for you?
I would highly recommend coaching with Ro. I was struggling in my relationships and with intimacy in general. I have had a lot of psychotherapy but was looking for something that combined the mind with the body and also gave me some tools to deal with overwhelm and anxiety within intimate moments or within my relationships, and I completely got that with bells on! Ro is kind, compassionate, intuitive and she adapted to whatever came up in the sessions, allowing me to feel authentically held and authentically myself.
Charlie
What can individual and couples relationship coaching help with?
Relationship challenges can be complex and include multiple dynamics. That said, here are some of the most common themes I work with in my practice:
Feeling anxious a lot of the time in your relationships, and finding it difficult to be with big emotions like sadness, anger, or fear without acting in ways you regret later on.
Having the same disagreements and arguments over and over, without them ever feeling truly resolved. While the rest of your relationship feels good, this pattern is getting you down.
Sweeping difficult conversations under the rug when something happens that upsets you, waiting for your annoyance to fade away, and ending up feeling more resentful over time.
Feeling drained and frustrated in your relationships, noticing that the other person is often calling the shots and you’re not really getting what you want. You find it hard to say ‘no,’ and to ask for what you want.
Want to talk more about whether coaching could be a good fit for you?
“We are born in relationship, we are wounded in relationship, and we heal in relationship”
Harville Hendrix
How does relationship coaching work?
Intimacy and relationship coaching is a powerful process, which takes advantage of your innate ability to bring your whole self to connection with another. Through the coaching relationship, we remind your body and nervous system that being in connection – without abandoning yourself – is not only possible, but enlivening.
What to expect:
- Space and time to slow right down and explore your experiences in sex and intimacy openly, without judgement
- A space where you’re encouraged and allowed to drop out of your busy mind, and connect to the deeper source of wisdom in your body
- A space to explore how childhood and your earliest relationships might still be impacting you today
- A sex-positive space that is affirming of queer and LGBT+ identities, alternative relationship styles such as polyamory, and kink/BDSM
Sessions may include:
- Nervous system regulation: noticing when you’re anxious, overwhelmed, or disconnected, and finding tools to gently bring you back into presence
- Slowing down the words and feeling into your body, taking time to listen and feel what’s there and developing deeper self-intimacy
- Meditation, guided visualisation and imagery, using the power of your imagination
- Identifying conflicting voices and ‘parts’ of yourself and dialoguing with them to resolve internal conflicts
- Identifying emotional needs that went unmet in your childhood, and finding creative ways to get those needs met now
- Gently challenging deeply held beliefs in doable ways, to begin making real changes
Is relationship coaching with me LGBT+, queer, and poly affirming?
Yes! I am queer, ethically non-monogamous, sex- and kink-positive, and gender fluid. I affirm all of the diverse ways that relationships and sexuality can be consensually explored, and the many ways that gender can be felt and expressed.
Many of my clients are queer, LGBTQIA+, questioning monogamy or exploring non-monogamy, but not all. Many people I work with simply appreciate having someone to talk with who is sex-positive and open to many different styles of self-expression in relationships.
I would highly recommend anyone who feels like they want to connect with themselves in a transformative way to contact Ro. From the very beginning I felt completely safe to share, even on the most vulnerable topics, and I felt her presence as very grounding and supportive. Every session with Ro was like stepping into this bubble of total acceptance, where whatever emotion that was showing up for me was safe to be expressed and looked at. Her guidance was calm, intuitive and attentive, always very respectful and professional.
In the long run, working with her allowed me to be able to see, recognise, accept and respect the different versions of myself and understand better where they were coming from.
She is a truly amazing coach and person, and I am really grateful to have been able to have had those sessions together, as they proved not only to be the support I needed at that very moment of my life but also durably shifted my relationship with myself.
Alix
To say that Ro has been instrumental in my personal growth is an understatement. I decided to approach her for coaching because I was struggling with connecting sexually and emotionally with my long term partner of over 20 years. Throughout our sessions, Ro and I explored my past trauma and how it has informed my views of myself and, by extension, my relationships. Her coaching style is gentle, supportive, sex-positive, and completely non-judgmental. I came away with a number of tools to help me identify triggers and manage my past trauma through a lens of self-compassion. Ro offered me a safe space where I could be completely vulnerable as I explored my past, while teaching me to recognize the various parts of myself that have resulted from it. I learned ways of coming back into my body and uncovered many truths about myself that had remained ignored for a long time due to shame. I was sad that our sessions ended, but I feel as though I am now on a path of possibilities.
VL
Sessions & Pricing
Individual coaching sessions
Sessions are 1 hour, either weekly or fortnightly, and charged at £75. We can work open-endedly, or for a fixed number of sessions. After an intro call, the process starts with an intake session, where I find out about your history and background. This also gives us some possible directions to take the work in.
Couples coaching sessions
Sessions are 1 hour, fortnightly, charged at £90. We can work open-endedly or for a fixed number of sessions. The process starts with an intro call, and if you decide to go ahead then I’ll ask you both to fill out an intake form to give me an idea of your personal backgrounds before we meet for our first session.
Working with Ro was transformational for me; I was honestly a little skeptical, because I live a lot in my head, and try to out-think all my challenges. At the start, I didn’t really “get” how to listen to my body or my wisdom.
Ro’s gentle and robust presence really helped me to dive much deeper, into areas that felt truly vulnerable. Her embodied approach has completely changed so many ways in which I show up to the world. She really supported me challenging myself, and also helped me “be on my own team”. Working with the different parts of me has been liberating.
SS
Working with Ro has been one of this year’s absolute highlights. Our sessions always felt like a friendly, warm and safe space where I could open myself up to seeing myself, my behaviour and my patterns with fresh eyes and from new vantage points. Ro has helped me gain invaluable insights into myself as well as providing me with tools to keep connecting to, and to keep exploring how I feel, what I need, how I communicate, how I perceive myself and those around me and, most importantly, how to recognise my boundaries and better communicate them to those around me. I am really excited to see where this journey takes me from here. Thank you Ro for being there at the outset!
Kris