Hi! I'm Ro.

I offer (self) intimacy coaching, tools, and resources – because the most important thing you bring to any relationship is your connection with yourself.

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Shadow Work

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sexpositivesketchbook

sexpositivesketchbook
I’ve been waiting a little while to share this, I’ve been waiting a little while to share this, but... this past month has seen my first few weeks of training to be a counsellor 🥳

The coaching work I’ve been doing over the past few years has shown me a couple of things: how much I love working one-to-one with people, and how difficult it can be for folks to find queer affirming, poly friendly, sex positive support (and my gosh, I know this from personal experience too).

So last Autumn I decided to apply to train in Psychosynthesis Counselling, meaning that eventually I’ll be able to work with people with a much broader range of challenges and in a more open-ended, longer term way. I’ll also receive accreditation which means I could work as a counsellor in schools or other places too.

Psychosynthesis is a transpersonal, spiritual, holistic approach which is underpinned by a non-dual philosophy, which means that it teaches that we are all, ultimately, connected - and yet the journey towards feeling happier and more fulfilled is not through transcending into some spiritual realm, but instead coming more into the body and really grounding that sense of interconnectedness in lived, daily experience. 

That’s really powerful! 

It also includes a lot of techniques and approaches that I already use in my coaching work, such as working with subpersonalities and the shadow, so it feels really aligned. I am excited :)

But best of all... on this training I have a really strong sense of being in the right place. That feels really big, because I’ve been through a lot of changes over the past year - including ending an abusive relationship, exploring my gender (and getting some great haircuts), changing my name, and now committing to three years of training here in London. Whew! It hasn’t always been easy so it feels great to celebrate moving in a direction that feels purposeful, challenging, and exciting. 

What’s exciting in your world right now?

#sexpositivesketchbook #transitions #innerknowing #innerwork #changeyourlife #selfhealer #selfmade #selfmastery #selflove #selflovewarrior #youarebeautiful #youareenough #genderqueer #genderfluid #queer #therapy #queertherapy #lgbttherapy #psychosynthesis
Sharing how you really feel is an act of self-love Sharing how you really feel is an act of self-love - including when you’re in conflict with someone you care about. 

That doesn’t mean dumping all your feelings on the other person, though! This isn’t about sending all of your rage in their direction with no care.

Approaching conflict from a place of love means showing love for the other person, the relationship, and for yourself, and that means sharing how you feel with the intention of creating more authentic connection - not hurting them back, or making them feel guilty.

To do this, we need to be able to move through the more difficult feelings so that we’re not acting from our aggression or fear. 

This may take time, whether several hours or a day or two, or perhaps longer. It may involve letting some anger move through physical exercise, or processing some fear or sadness with a friend who isn’t involved.

The aim is to find the sweet spot where the topic is still feeling alive and important to you and you’re connected to the initial feelings it brought up, and you have moved through the strongest of those feelings so that you can also access curiosity and a genuine desire to reconnect for its own sake. 

It can take a little time and practice to find this balance!

What tools do you use to regulate your emotions? A really simple one is to take some slow, deep, easy breaths. Or you might have a friend who you know you can go to when you need to rant and let off some steam. What works best for you?

And if you want to read more about turning conflict into deeper connection, then I’m sending out the third and final part of the series I’ve been writing on this topic tomorrow. 

Want in? Drop me your email address at the link in my bio and I’ll make sure you get it. I’ll include a link to parts one and two too, in case you missed them.

#growthmindset #empoweringwomen #authenticity #lovewins #courage #starttoday #juststart #changeyourlife #selfhealer #inspirationalquotes #motivationalquotes #relationshipgoals #relationships #relationships101 #relationshiptalk #emotionalintelligence #emotionalwellbeing #thehealingcontinues #resilience #therapy #marriageadvice #healthyrelationships #selfmastery #selflove
When I really let myself feel how it can be to be When I really let myself feel how it can be to be in relationships where I’m giving us both permission to be ourselves, I feel myself relax. 

This is a place where I allow myself to believe I’m enough and don’t need to be any different. It’s a place where I extend the same generosity to the other person, too - they are simply as they are, and could not be any different.

After all, we’re all just trying to get our needs met with the tools we have available to us.

How different would your disagreements and arguments be if you could approach them from this place? 

We spend so much time and energy subtly trying to manipulate each other into being different. We approach conflict from the attitude of, “if only they would do x, then everything would be fine!”

And so we try to get them to see that we’re right - whether through persistently reiterating our point, subtly shaming their way of doing things, or trying to guilt them into behaving differently.

None of these methods foster authentic connection or deeper relationships full of trust and reciprocity. 

But, believe it or not, it is possible to do conflict differently!

It’s also very understandable that most of us don’t have the tools to do that, when we didn’t have a better way modelled or taught to us.

If you recognise some of this in your relationships, and you’d like to make some changes, then I’m sending out part two of my How To Turn Conflict into Deeper Connection series tomorrow, all about how we can commit to connection. 

Want in? Drop me your email address at the link in my bio and I’ll make sure you get it. I’ll include a link to part one too, in case you missed it last week.

#growthmindset #empoweredwomenempowerwomen #empoweringwomen #authenticity #lovewins #courage #juststart #changeyourlife #selfhealer #relationshipgoals #relationships #relationships101 #relationshiptalk #emotionalintelligence #emotionalwellbeing #thehealingcontinues #resilience #mentalselfcare #selfcare #healthyrelationships #codependency #selflove #selflovewarrior #youarebeautiful #youareenough #changeyourlife #lovewins #therapy #coaching #emotionalwellbeing
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Recent Posts

  • How To Turn Conflict into Deeper Connection – Part 2: Committing to Connection
  • How To Turn Conflict into Deeper Connection – Part 1: Avoiding Conflict
  • How To Stop Beating Yourself Up for Going Round in Circles
  • How To Find the Best Therapist for You
  • How To Run a Sharing Circle (the ultimate guide)

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