• Sex

    How to Navigate Dating and Sex with Endometriosis

    I was recently asked how to go about dating and sex when PIV (penis in vagina) sex is often uncomfortable due to endometriosis. This question intrigued me because, although I don’t live with endometriosis myself, it speaks to the need for having authentic, vulnerable conversations about needs and desires with people you a) feel attracted to and b) likely don’t know very well. I had a hunch that any advice I could give would be relevant to many more folks than only those diagnosed with this specific condition. I’ve spoken with people who do have endometriosis about which challenges come up most often, where the most anxiety is, and what…

  • Sex

    Connecting First

    Intimacy is often closely associated with sex – to the extent that the words are sometimes interchangeable. But sex and intimacy don’t quite mean the same thing, and one is not a requirement in enjoying the other. Sex is an easy default when trying to create connection and intimacy. Enjoying sex with a new person is no bad thing, but it can be unhelpful if we’re using it as a way to cover up a need for intimacy which we are unwilling to address. Why do we rely so easily on sex when we want to feel close to someone new? Do we find it so difficult to connect in…

  • Relationships

    Dating Pattern Interrupt

    If we take it as a given that we will tend to be attracted to people who allow us to act out childhood experiences of love and affection, meaning that we play out similar patterns in our relationships, for better or worse… And if we accept that in order to find these people requires us to experience their body language, actions, words, and tone of voice… Does this mean that meeting someone on Tinder and getting to know them a little over text could function as something of a pattern interrupt? That through the screen, we miss so many vital clues about another’s behaviour that we could end up becoming…