• Personal Growth

    How To Break Out of the Cycle of Drama

    Are you the kind of person who always seems to be stuck in some kind of drama? Perhaps you notice that drama seems to follow you around; you’re always attracting misfortune and challenging circumstances. Or maybe you attract the kind of people who bring drama into your life? You feel drawn to people who you’re certain you can help, but you end up feeling drained and exhausted while nothing seems to change for them? If these are patterns you recognise in your life and relationships, then you might be caught in the drama triangle. What is the drama triangle? The drama triangle is a model that we can use to…

  • Personal Growth,  Relationships

    How To Stop Being a People-Pleaser (for good)

    Ok, so you’ve identified that you’re a people-pleaser. You’ve noticed a pattern of feeling frustrated in your relationships (whether romantic or platonic – it can show up everywhere) because you fail to communicate your wants and needs early on. You go along with it, telling yourself it’s not so bad, until you reach breaking point… which usually ends in an emotional blowout or simply giving up and cutting the other person out entirely. Either way, there’s a lot of resentment that slowly builds and it’s really, really draining. It feels impossible to put yourself first – what if your requests are too much? What if you hear a “no?” It…

  • Relationships

    The Ultimate Guide to Setting Boundaries in Relationships

    Maybe you’ve heard that having boundaries in your relationships is really important. While this is good advice, it doesn’t begin to explain exactly what boundaries are, how you can find yours, or communicate them to the people you’re in relationships with. In my intimacy coaching work, boundaries are often among the first topics I address with my clients, as so many of us didn’t grow up learning how to feel our boundaries – let alone assert them. In this post I’ll cover what boundaries are, what they’re not, and how to start finding and communicating yours. Let’s start with the basics. What Are Boundaries? Boundaries are limits that anyone can…

  • Relationships

    Dating Pattern Interrupt

    If we take it as a given that we will tend to be attracted to people who allow us to act out childhood experiences of love and affection, meaning that we play out similar patterns in our relationships, for better or worse… And if we accept that in order to find these people requires us to experience their body language, actions, words, and tone of voice… Does this mean that meeting someone on Tinder and getting to know them a little over text could function as something of a pattern interrupt? That through the screen, we miss so many vital clues about another’s behaviour that we could end up becoming…