If we take it as a given that we will tend to be attracted to people who allow us to act out childhood experiences of love and affection, meaning that we play out similar patterns in our relationships, for better or worse…
And if we accept that in order to find these people requires us to experience their body language, actions, words, and tone of voice…
Does this mean that meeting someone on Tinder and getting to know them a little over text could function as something of a pattern interrupt?
That through the screen, we miss so many vital clues about another’s behaviour that we could end up becoming invested in someone who we get along with, but who doesn’t quite fit into those patterns?
This could explain the often-repeated advice to “meet them as quickly as possible.” After all, had we met them at an event then we may instantly, unconsciously, realise that they don’t quite appeal to the parts of us that keep our patterns going, and decided we weren’t interested. Perhaps meeting online and spending some time chatting opens us up to people we may otherwise feel are not for us, which in turn allows us to question the scripts that fuel our relationships.
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